Simi Parthenopaeus

It's mine. Whatever it is, it's mine.


Simi is a rather dexterous little thing, being small of stature and weighing very little. She isn’t the most attractive of females but this usually works in her favour, stopping unwanted physical contact. Aka most physical contact. Hugs don’t count. Neither do piggy backs.

She has long brown hair pulled away from her face to stop in getting in her way, tied with a scrap of leather. With keen green eyes she is able to spot most loot and just steals the rest from others. Her clothing is lightweight leather and cloth, but hides many secret pockets where she keeps her most prized pieces.

Her most notable features are the various pieces of animals which she wears as a form of armour. Her deely boppers are entertaining, the owl bear belt is awesome, as are her bracers made of ambush drake…

The baby ambush drake is now her pet and is the most loved. Should anyone hurt it, they will fell her wrath. And no one wants to experience that.


Simi never met her parents. She grew up fending for herself, gaining a taste for rat and becoming a rather good thief. As a mischief maker, she got herself into a bit of troubles so decided to move around to avoid getting caught. She couldn’t be bothered dealing with people as they always got in the way and were usually whiny gits.

Unfortunately for her, she ended up in Everwood. Joys. Then that bloody dragon came and melted everything. Wonderful. She ended up becoming part of the Everwood Avengers even though she didn’t really give a damn about Everwood. But the chance to defeat a dragon and gain a fuck tonne of loot? Hell no was she gonna give that up! It meant dealing with the annoying ranger, the half elf whose ears she wanted to slice off and a mouthy brat but it would hopefully be worth it…

Journal Entry No. 25

This just needs to be said. Dear god these people are annoying!! No fucking stealing, or pranks, or fun stuff. Always serious. And we share the fecking loot. I seriously do not approve of this. I notice it most of the time, why should the others gain from being oblivious twats?

That ranger SERIOUSLY needs to stop being so bloody angsty. I get it! Your parents are dead. Deal with it and get on with life. And hit the target once in a while. It would be useful.

Denna is so very quiet you barely know she is there half the time. She needs to speak up more. She’s new so can’t be too harsh. As long as she knows everything is mine we will get along fine.

Cally. A paladin? My arse! I’m not exactly religious coz it’s all a pile of shite most of the time but I at least know she should be praying and all that jazz. She’s also mouthy as fuck. Needs to shut her face every now and again. My head hurts listening to her babble.

Qog is a different matter. I like his tusks. He’s not as annoying as the others. He gives me shiny things. And makes me feel useful when I’m quite clearly not. I don’t think there is anything that annoys me about him. That’s a first… Oh god I’m soft….

Journal Entry No. 89


However, Qog is gone. Forever. I don’t approve. The bastard and his heroics. He could have got out! He could have just barged passed those guys! He’s a freaking half orc! But no, he chose to be brave. He always was but that wasn’t the time. Bah freaking humbug to him. I am so gonna pester him in the afterlife for this. He ain’t getting away from me that easily. Only person that I actually liked. I’d so totally give him loot! No one else. They don’t deserve that honour. But still. I miss him and his tusked face.

Simi Parthenopaeus

Garrioch lkyle312